This guy gors to a shrink
This guy gors to a shrink and says, "I'm losing my mind, Doc...I can't sleep, everytime I crawl in bed, it starts bouncing and thumping, 'cause there's boogers 'n monsters under it....I get out of bed and look underneath, and nothin's there! I crawl under to see better, and the bed starts rockin' and thumpin' from on top! They're up there, just raisin' hell! I look on top, and they're under the bed again....over, under, over, under...I tell you, I'm losing it!"
I can help you," replies the doctor...."I believe a 2-year course of treatment, twice weekly, $100 per session should do it!"
The guy quickly figures the total cost, shakes his head and says, "I better think about it...I'll let you know."
The next week, the doc sees the guy on the street and says, "When are we going to start your treatments?"
"Forget it," grins the man...."My bartender solved my problem for free...."
"How can that be?" asked the shrink.
"Simple....he told me to just cut the legs off my bed."