Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP)

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007. The
move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead the office has incurred during the last 6 years.

"We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge,"
stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA).

"We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level
of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices (Mumbai ,India) will assume the
office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United
States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus
making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320
(USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few
offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me
to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in
an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped
I would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should
not be a problem, as President Bush was not familiar with the issues
either.

It is not yet clear if plans are being considered for outsourcing the
Senate and the House of Representatives. This could seriously affect
staffing efficiency at the Dell call center. Special interests and
lobbyists here are expected to seriously push back on any such efforts.
It is thought that saving the hundreds of millions of dollars now spent
annually on campaign financing could positively affect the U.S. Economy.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the
spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks.

He will not also be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits
will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the
outplacement services of Manpower, Inc., to help him write a resume and
prepare for his upcoming job transition.

According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position due to limited practical or successful work experience. A
greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive
experience shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

If approved, most of the affected Congressional positions would probably
revert to entry level Internet bloggers or on-call street activists. If
nothing else, they may be offered jobs as reporters or TV commentators.