A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazement of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
Labels: funny_stories, Wise
7/27/2009 08:17:00 PM 0 comments
Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.
- It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
- It’s important to have a woman who you can make laugh.
- It’s important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you.
- It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
- It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Labels: men, Men_vs_Women, Women
7/27/2009 08:15:00 PM 0 comments Young Charlie is having trouble with his first grade addition homework,
so his father decides to help. He teaches the Charlie how to add small
numbers by counting on his fingers. Eventually, the little boy becomes quite
good. "But remember," the father says, "you can't use your fingers in school
-- you'll have to do it in your head."
The next day at school, the teacher calls on Charlie and asks him "what is
five plus five?" Charlie starts to raise his hands, but remembering what
his father said, hides them in his pockets. After a few seconds of counting,
Charlie announces "Eleven!"
Labels: kids, Little_Johnny
7/05/2009 12:14:00 PM 0 comments A little withered old man walks into a timber company office, and applies
for a job as a lumberjack. The foreman politely tries to talk him out of the
idea. After all, he is old, small, and apparently much too weak to fell
trees. The old man picks up an axe and walks over to a huge redwood. As he
goes to work, a high-pitched whine comes from the axe, chips of wood fly
everywhere, and the odour of burning wood fills the air. In record time, the
old man is finished chopping down the tree.
"That's just astounding," the foreman says, "wherever did you learn to
chop down trees like that?"
"Well now," the old man smiles, "have you ever heard of the Sahara
Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert."
"Sure, that's what it's called NOW..."
- Never argue with a fool...people may not be able to tell you apart.
- Never claim as a right that which you can ask as a favor.
- Never climb a fence when you can sit on it.
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
- Never eat prunes when you are famished.
- Never embezzle more than your employer can afford.
- Never get into a fight with an ugly person. He has nothing to lose.
- Never have so many people understood so little about so much.
- Never invest in anything that eats or needs repainting.
- Never let your sense of morality stop you from doing what is right.
- Never make the same mistake twice...there are so many new ones to make!
- Never marry a woman who prays too much.
- Never mistake good manners for good will.
- Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Never question your wife's judgement...look whom she married.
- Never step in anything soft.
- Never trust anyone who laughs at his own one-liners.
- Never try to teach a pig how to sing. It is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.
- Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
- Never, ever trust anyone under 30 or over 25.
Labels: Wise
7/05/2009 09:55:00 AM 0 comments
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Labels: Boom_Boom
7/05/2009 09:49:00 AM 0 comments 