A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. As he was delayed, the priest decided to speak while they waited:
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his
way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled.
Still, as the days went on I learned my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived. In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'
The Moral of this story: Never, Never, Never Ever, Be Late
Labels: could_be_true, funny_stories, moral, story, US, Wise
3/18/2009 08:20:00 AM 0 comments
My five-year old students are learning to read.
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, 'Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!'
I took a deep breath, then asked, "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"
And so it does...
Hooked on phonics! Gotta love it...
Labels: animals, could_be_true, funny_stories, General, kids
8/03/2008 08:52:00 PM 0 comments Listen up! If you don't laugh out loud at this one, call the morgue and reserve a tray, because you are dead!
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have thirteen stitches in his forehead.
Labels: could_be_true, mostly_true, true_stories, US
7/23/2007 09:14:00 PM 0 comments 