A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever..
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room..
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150
Labels: animals, financial, General, money, playonwords, US
11/03/2009 12:29:00 PM 0 comments
A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His
business was failing, he had put everything he had
into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad
he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort
he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears
and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what
I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in
your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach
chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the
beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the
Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open
Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the
page and read the first thing you see. That will be your
answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the priest
and brought his wife and children with him. The man
was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink
coat, the children shining.
The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with
money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a
donation in thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious.
"You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
Labels: financial, hope, money, prayer, religion, US
7/05/2007 08:04:00 AM 