A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday.
She spends $5000.00 and feels pretty good about
the results. On her way home she stops at a
newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she
asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 32,” the clerk replies. “I’m actually 47,” the
woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and upon
getting her order, asks the counter girl the same
question. She replies, “I’d guess about 29.” The
woman replies, “Nope I am 47.”

Now she is feeling really good about herself. While
waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the
same question. He replies, “I’m 78 and my eyesight
is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there
was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it
requires you letting me put my hands up your shirt
and feel your boobs. Then I can tell exactly how old
you are.”

They waited in silence on the empty street until
curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally
says, “Well, what the hell, go ahead.”

The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under
her bra, and begins to feel around.

After a couple of minutes she says, “Okay, Okay,
how old am I?”

He removes his hands and says, “You are 47.”

Stunned the woman says, “That’s amazing! How
did you know?”

The old man replied, “I was behind you in line at

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