MY RESUME…

  • My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned…couldn’t concentrate.
  • Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  • After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
  • Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
  • I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
  • Then I tried to be a chef — figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.
  • Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  • My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  • I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.
  • Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I Just didn’t fit in.
  • I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
  • I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
  • I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
  • So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  • Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
  • After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

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