The New Alphabet
A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won’t float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said, But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.
- A’s for arthritis;
- B’s the bad back,
- C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
- D is for dental decay and decline,
- E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
- F is for fissures and fluid retention,
- G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.
- H is high blood pressure — I’d rather it low;
- I for incisions with scars you can show.
- J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
- K is for knees that crack when they bend.
- L for libido, what happened to sex?
- M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
- N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
- O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!
- P for prescription’s, I have quite a few; just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
- Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
- R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
- S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
- T for Tinnitus; there’s bells in my ears!
- U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
- V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.
- W is for worry, NOW what’s going ’round?
- X is for X ray, and what might be found.
- Y is another year I’m left here behind,
- Z is for zest I still have — in my mind.
I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed, And I’ve kept twenty-six ‘doctors’ fully employed!!!