• Never argue with a fool…people may not be able to tell you apart.
  • Never claim as a right that which you can ask as a favor.
  • Never climb a fence when you can sit on it.
  • Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
  • Never eat prunes when you are famished.
  • Never embezzle more than your employer can afford.
  • Never get into a fight with an ugly person. He has nothing to lose.
  • Never have so many people understood so little about so much.
  • Never invest in anything that eats or needs repainting.
  • Never let your sense of morality stop you from doing what is right.
  • Never make the same mistake twice…there are so many new ones to make!
  • Never marry a woman who prays too much.
  • Never mistake good manners for good will.
  • Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
  • Never question your wife’s judgement…look whom she married.
  • Never step in anything soft.
  • Never trust anyone who laughs at his own one-liners.
  • Never try to teach a pig how to sing. It is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.
  • Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
  • Never, ever trust anyone under 30 or over 25.

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