Thinking about Golf

  • Golf balls are like eggs, they’re white, they’re sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.   
  • A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.  
  • It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.  
  • When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m.  to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard? 
  • Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship.  Sometime is seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
  • It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery.  On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.  
  • A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.  
  • Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.  
  • Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.  
  • A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you.  
  • That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work. 
  • If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.  
  • If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.  
  • You probably wouldn’t look good in a Green Jacket anyway!  A sweatshirt will do just fine!  
  • Golf appeals to the child in all of us.  This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5.  
  • It’s a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you’re not choosy about which fairway. 
  • If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.  
  • The greatest sound in golf is the Wosh, Wosh, Wosh, of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway. 
  • A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest.  They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.

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